Families are about love overcoming emotional torture

Quote by Matt Groening.

First I would like to thank Lauryn for my beautiful new blog layout. Yay for creative friends!

I had an interesting experience over the weekend. My mom wanted me to go with her to her cousin's son's confirmation service and the reception afterward. She said my brother and my dad were both unable to go and she didn't want to go alone. I understood, and though I didn't really want to, I decided that I would go. It took me an hour to get to the church, where I spent an hour and a half smashed into a pew next to a woman who wouldn't stop putting her arm around me every time she talked to my mom, and a little girl sitting on Touchy's lap who kept slamming the kneeler up and down and kicking me. I was practically climbing onto my mom's lap to get away from Touchy and Kicky.

Then came the reception. The food was pretty good, but guess what? We were at Touchy's table! Everyone I talked to asked me what I was going to school for (because they'll definitely remember what I said when they see me again five years from now) and I was pretty much just answering questions without elaborating at all. My mom's aunt introduced her step-grandchildren and after they had gone out of earshot said she did that because they call her their step-grandma, even though her son and his wife have been together for 12 years. She made it clear that she was bothered by it and very concerned about the whole state of affairs but then played the martyr card because she "just doesn't want to cross any boundaries."

My mom's cousin Jan sat down with us and literally the second thing out of her mouth was, "So Lindsey, how's your love life?" I said, "Wow..." and looked at my mom because a) I never talk to this woman and b) I think that's a personal question and none of her business. If I had any kind of relationship with her it would be one thing, but I definitely don't. And I probably would have started crying if that comment was made at the end of February, when I had just broken up with my ex-boyfriend. So way to be sensitive and care that that might not be something I want to talk about. In any event, I think there's a more tactful way to ask that question because her tone of voice indicated to me that she just wanted to get the dirt. After a very long pause, my mom decided to answer for me which actually worked out great! I didn't have to say anything and they got a ridiculously small amount of information. At the same time, I wanted to turn the question around on her. "Jan, I know you've been divorced for years and you haven't had a successful relationship since then, but how's your love life? Having any good sex? No?"

However, something hilarious happened at Jan's daughter's graduation party over the summer. My brother and I didn't go. My mom's aunt (Jan's mom aka step-grandma from before) and my dad had a conversation that went like this:

Aunt: How's everything going with Austin and Lindsey?
Dad: They're doing good.
Aunt: Does Austin have a girlfriend?
Dad: Yes he does, her name is Shannon.
Aunt: How about Lindsey?

--- Now, my dad hates those empty conversations as much as me, but usually handles them better. Also, he's very conservative so that's why this next statement is so funny. ---

Dad: Yep, she has a girlfriend too.

Apparently, my mom's aunt about swallowed her tounge and just mumbled something and walked away. Hilarious. So take that, nosy people!

Anyway, when I related this whole story to D, all he said was, "But babe, what are people supposed to talk to you about?" I didn't really have a good answer for that one, but what I'm choosing to take from this whole experience is this: I will always strive to have meaningful conversations with people and really try to find out about who they are. I will not have empty, meaningless conversations that I will forget about immediately after I walk away from them.