I just need somewhere to dump all my negativity

Quote by Van Morrison.

I try not to have a negative attitude but sometimes I just have to have a complain-y rant. So here I go:

I apparently need to avoid spending time by myself watching sappy love movies on TV. Of course, nothing happens in reality the way it does in the movies, but it's somewhat depressing anyway. And they make me think about my current relationship state and that is a lot of fun... Long story short (although the only person who reads this blog already knows) I broke up with my boyfriend of three years about two months ago and I am feeling quite sorry for myself today. Of course, the rest of my life is going just fine so I'm inwardly yelling at myself about being one of "those girls" who falls apart when not in a relationship, although I know I'm not a complete mess, it's just one of those days. Also, I keep looking at the guys that are in my life to "evaluate" them in terms of a possible relationship which is silly because I know very well that I won't ever approach anyone since I've always felt that the only people worth trying to have a relationship with were the ones who pursued me first. And I'm no longer in a relationship with the only guy who ever really did that. Bah. So now I have myself fully back in a high school mindset feeling sort of miserable.

To further analyze all of this, I'm probably feeling this way because there is a lot of unknowns looming on the horizon. I only have a year left in college, no idea where I'll be working, no idea where I'll be living, no idea what a "real job" will actually be like, and no relationship. Really there is absolutely nothing stable in my life besides one or two close friends and my immediate family. I crave stability and knowing what's ahead of me! So on the eve of a HUGE life change, I kicked the only person out of my life who was there on a daily basis. Ironically, it was also because of huge life changes since I am about to have mine and he isn't even close to having his. This particular phase in life is not my favorite.